The Kemper Profiling Amp – The Best Thing Since Sliced…errr Toast!

I have played guitar for over 30 years. Some of that time has been enjoyable but to be perfectly honest, most  of it has been fucking frustrating and at times I have come close to putting everything I own on ebay, forgetting all about being a musician and buying a drum kit. If, like me, you are never satisfied with your sound then maybe you can relate to that first sentence. There will be people reading this however who will say “well if you don’t sound good, you must be shit”…and they may be correct. However the truth is, most guitarists I talk to feel the same.

The search for the right sound is, for most, a never ending story filled with expensive purchases, gear U- turns and bad advice from guitar ‘gods’ at our local store.

Then there is that guy we all fear; the purist. “All you need mate is a guitar and an amp and maybe one pedal and that’s it, you don’t need anything else” For some, with a god given talent that is often all you need. However I was not born to be Stevie Ray or Rory and I need help, I always have done.

To the beginner or intermediate guitarist it seems that the more you know about your instrument, the more you have to learn. The more your ear becomes trained, the more you hear just how shit your tone is.

There have been times where I think, that’s it, my amp is at its sweet spot, my overdrive pedal is set just right. But then someone will open a door, the cat will fart or I will sneeze and it has gone for ever. Of course it is not environmental factors that mean I cant get the sound I need, it’s all down to me and some gear choices. Let’s be honest, I can play, I have some technique and I have some nice guitars but up until 2 months ago I was basically wasting my fucking time in a very expensive way.

I am what you might call a conventional guitarist. Never really got into home recording or guitar amp modelling. As for midi, well that is witchcraft and the inventors of such technology should be drowned immediately before which their brains should be removed and given to me so I can understand what the fuck is going on.

I have always tried, where possible to put one or two pedals between my guitar and a semi decent amp. Of course those 3 factors (4 if you include the lead) mean that there are many variables which in my case have more often than not resulted in a big pile of shite emanating from my speakers.

About 2 years ago however I started to research the Kemper Profiling amp. Let me be clear, I am not endorsed by, work for or have any connection with Kemper, I simply feel that I should share my tale with you as fellow guitarists and seekers of tone….

My initial scepticism was high, not however as high as the price. Then after more research and finally ‘getting it’ I started to think about trying one out….As often happens though, life got in the way, we needed a new kitchen (or something) and the idea of new piece of tech for my man cave faded into the past. Then a friend of mine started talking about it and reignited my interest. He went ahead and took the plunge and rated it very highly.

Because I have the world’s best wife, she insisted I go and try one out with a view to buying one (sorry guys, she has no sisters). I did and I was instantly hooked. Parted with my money and the revolution started….

Kemper ‘Toaster’ also comes in white

What Does it Do?

I won’t bore you by explaining it in detail (video below) but essentially this thing will ‘profile’ and amplifier, giving you immediate access to any amp ever made or sold (providing it has been profiled). The online tests are conclusive, this thing works and the A/B comparison tests of the Kemper profiles are virtually indistinguishable from the source amp. You do not have to own the amps, you go online and download them. There are great profiles for free and also professional studio created ones (these are brilliant from Mike Britt) . Of course like anything online, there is some crap out there too, but just try them and delete them.

My playing has improved. Yes, great tone makes you want to play and play in a different way. My guitar collection now sounds like the money I paid for it. In fact Kemper has become a verb in our house and my wife will often ask “Are you Kempering today?”….Let’s think about that, the only other product that has received that linguistic treatment is the hoover (whatever the fuck that is…..is it midi?) anyway, needless to say I can start Kempering at 7pm and next thing I know, the sun is coming up.

This is me and my Kemper (This is the Rack Version)

For Pro Guitarists?

The price of this thing means it is clearly aimed at ‘pro guitarists’ as the reviews often tell us. But fuck that. This thing gives me instant access to any contemporary or historic amp, then allows me to edit the sound and add any of the on board studio grade effects. The more I think about it (and the main reason for this blog is that) every guitarist who has mastered the barre chord (that is my barometer of becoming a lifelong guitarist; pre barre chord, guitar goes under the stairs and stays there; post barre chord its a life long love affair!!) should own a Kemper. By definition of what it is designed to do, this technology is dateless and for around $1500 it is all you will ever need. If you are a bedroom player, a pub brawler or a stadium guitarist this really does everything you need it to. Is it easy to use? Well as I said I am about as technologically tuned in as a potato and I can get a great sound out of it in under 30 seconds.

Finally, it is important to say again, I have no attachment to the company other than buying one of their products. I simply feel that as someone who is not a ‘tone snob’ with very little technical or ‘studio’ skills, it is important to recommend such a product to any guitarist who, like me, are thinking about putting their shit on ebay. Don’t do it. There is great tone out there, there is a solution and it looks like a toaster. It is a Kemper………